Confidence

I lack confidence. On the rare occasion, I have some, but that usually happens after a few adult liquid concoctions.
Because of this flaw, I have problems with having normal conversations. I sometimes get so flustered that I can't keep up with my thoughts and get them out right, thus I end up with my foot in my mouth.
When I know I am right, I question if I am right, even though, I know I am right. The sky is blue, right?
Stupid, right?
I have lots going for me and I should be proud of all that I have, but there is always that dumb voice in my head that questions everything! It must go back to when I was growing up, right? Everything happens in your childhood that affects who you are as an adult, right? I was the youngest of six kids. An afterthought. My voice was the last to get heard, if it got heard. That about sums it up.
I do know someone who oozes confidence. Her name is Katie. Katie D. Katie Grace. Katherine Grace DeLucia. She is six. She knows what she wants and she strives to get it. She likes to be liked. She wants to do her best all the time. If she can't, she screams about it.
Now, as a mother, I am supposed to brag about my kids, but I have always had a hard time with Katie. Her strong personality has always clashed with my weak one. I have been focusing on the clashing for the last six years. Instead of focusing on her good, I have been sternly looking at her explosive personality. That is until the last week.
She has been in dance for the last year or so. She absolutely loves it. She loved being in the last recital, but this past recital was different. She loved the music that was selected. One of the songs was 'Under the Sea' from the Little Mermaid (her very favorite princess). The other song was a collage of music from 'Annie'.
She never heard of Annie before the first rehearsal. We had to rent the movie and from the first viewing, she became Annie and she knew it. For weeks, months, she was singing "Maybe", "Tomorrow" and "Hard Knock Life". She knows it forward and backwards. She lost sleep for days before the recital. She could not wait for the show.
The curtain opened up. All the little orphans were laying all over each other except for four, one in which, I identified as Mary. OK, one down, where is Katie? The song "Maybe" started, "Maybe in a house...." and clear as day I found Katie, aka Annie. There was one light on stage that was acting like a spotlight for our eyes only, and there was Katie belting out (lipsyncing) out the song. She was so animated, so 'loud'. That is when the tear came into my eye. She moved me. She was so confident! I was so happy for my little girl. She has something that I don't, confidence.

Kisses right back at you, Miss Thang!